They called you UGLY! So what?

This blog post is dedicated to all those out there who at some point felt insecure and settled for less than they truly deserved. Know that without your consent, no one will make you feel bad or inferior. Be the judge and the jury of your life.  It’s in your power to have full control of what comes in and goes out of your life. If you let your mind become a garbage zone where people dump their waste products and all manner of nonsense, you are indeed trading your happiness for their sake.  

Day-to-day, a lot of our young girls and even boys lose their self-confidence all because of the false impression the society, friends and even class mates want them to forcefully consent to. Some are being called retarded, fat, ugly, scruffy, unfortunate, underprivileged and all manner of names. As a child born in the 80’s and attended elementary school in the 90’s, I had a fair share of the word ‘ugly’ directed at me and often times, I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered why I was being called such name. But you know what? As little and as stubborn as I was, even though I had a quiet outlook, I would  call them even worse names, making sure the tone of my voice overpowered theirs in return. Ridiculous right? I believed everyone must have a piece of the same pie. You can’t just call me ugly and expect to go scot-free. That’s just impossible!

A fellow Nigerian blogger once posted a related topic on her blog where she stated how she attended a parochial school consisting of 99.99% of African American children where they all wore a uniform. Although they all dressed alike and were relatively neat for the most part, she couldn’t figure out why she was singled out as ugly. It got so bad that she had to deal with the criticism of having such weird name that even teachers would butcher at times and because she was from a country in Africa, they thought that she swung on trees like Tarzan or had a pet gorilla like Caesar from Planet of Apes, and to be called ugly on top of that… she wondered why? How pathetic!

I do understand that as a child, especially in your formative years, being called such ill names can be very devastating as I do hear of children wanting to pull out of school for such reasons. This typically happens when their self-esteem has been hampered and this almost affects every aspects of their lives, from how they think about themselves to the way they think about or react to life situations. They then conceive what was being said to them and begin to look for shelter, coiling themselves up at the corners of their rooms, wallowing in self-pity and consumed by emotional torture. Overtime, this can reduce the quality of that child's life in many different ways and may even lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, sometimes with some tragic results. But on the other hand, just like in my case, some may decide to speak back fearlessly to the enemy and as soon as they perceive that boldness and confidence in you, it becomes difficult for them to attack a second time. {Please be advised that this may not be the best way to handle such situations although I was lucky to get away with mine as there were no physical demonstrations involved}.

God created everyone (man and woman) in his own image and likeness and as soon as HE saw what he created he knew it was good. Genesis 1:31. Before the eyes of your creator, you are good and perfect. Anyone who calls another person ugly is not just insulting that person, he is insulting God and his handiwork. I have seen lots of plastic surgeries gone wrong all because people want to keep up with society's standard of physical attractiveness. Is it not fascinating that the same society won't be there for you once this leads to your early dismissal?

Good surgeons will always ask why you want plastic surgery so that they can determine if what you want is possible, and then decide if you are a suitable candidate for surgery. However, I believe most of these people will benefit more from seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist than they would a plastic surgeon, and a good surgeon would tell them this if it was the case.

True beauty comes with a beautiful heart, beautiful character, beautiful soul and a beautiful spirit. That is a complete package. You owe no man any explanation on how you should look. Whether you are #teamlightskin or #teamdarkskin, you are wonderful and beautiful before your maker. Regardless of your skin color, race, culture, qualification, etc., God sees everyone as the same. It will not profit you anything if you begin to pronounce abusive and negative words on others neither will it profit the recipient if you begin to feel less of yourself because of the negative words being directed at you. Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23. Ultimately, it's the inner belief that you have in yourself that guides you throughout life. Do we deserve to be verbally abused? No, we don't. No one does. It's up to us not to place too much credibility on the negativity around us and our environment.

I hereby encourage you to constantly say these words to yourself everyday to help build your confidence.

• I AM GOOD ENOUGH
• I AM BEAUTIFUL
• I AM WORTHY
• I CAN DO IT BECAUSE NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE
• I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
• I AM GROWING INTO THE BEST VERSION OF ME
• I TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILTIY FOR MY LIFE
• I HAVE NO REGRETS
• I HAVE FORGIVEN THOSE WHO HURT ME
• I AM PROUD OF ME
• For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14.

I hope this post ministers to a least a soul out there.

I look forward to seeing y'all in my next post.

Lots of love,

Ada...xoxo

Photocredit: Shutterstock